Why my friend committed suicide?

Mayjoy, one of my closest friends, committed suicide today. She took about 40 tablets of sleeping pills last night and she never woke up. Her 5-year-old son went to her room about noon and found his mommy lying on the edge of her bed. He tried to be quiet and careful not to wake his mom up. But the kid was surprised when he saw his mom’s eyes and mouth open. She was looking straight at him like she was askin’ for some help. He ran right away out of the room and notify his grandparents. The doctor said that she was already dead since 3 AM. It was devastating for all of us.

She sent me an SMS the night before she took her life – “I feel nothing. He doesn’t deserve me. I’m sailing away.” She was talking about her husband. They got separated last week and she went to her parents’ house in the next town. Her husband went away with another woman and she can’t handle the stress and frustrations. She kept on blaming her self for what happened to their 10-year relationship. She was about to meet us, her circle of friends, this Tuesday to sort things out. But I think she already made a decision which puts an end to everything.

I still felt sorry for her and to her son, Kirk. She got a lot of dreams for him and how she enjoyed talking about where school he will go and what college course he will pursue. She was really kindhearted and always brings food for the group whenever we get together. Her best friend, Maimai, was blaming herself for not being there when Mayjoy needed her most. Maimai was in a business trip to Manila last week and she just got back this morning.

She left a note for all of us – her friends. Saying:

“We laugh together under the golden sun and the silver moon. And it was one of the happiest moments of my life. Please allow me to play in your memories and forgive me for not letting you all know that I’m going to take the bus. I’m gone now. Please take care of my son.”

For sure we’re going to take care of her son. I’m one of his godfathers. He’s a sweet kid like his mother.

She also leaves a note to her husband:

“Jun, my heart is weary of you and your woman. I’ve tried to make you understand, but it’s no use. You can burn my body and my things and leave your wedding band off my corpse!”

I guess he killed her softly. Indirectly.

My friend died of acute suicide. She’s expecting some sort of revelation or insight into her problem and found it in taking her own life. Her husband, on the other hand, is committing chronic suicide. He is consuming about three to four bottles of vodka every day since they got separated.

In all of these, I may say suicide is poetic and stupid at the same time but I guess victims couldn’t realize it and they don’t have time to understand life and its surprises.